Where Have the Deep and Meaningful Conversations Gone?
December 11, 2018
Kylie-Ann Kobelt

Do you remember the last time you had a deep and meaningful conversation with someone? You know the kind of conversation…

  • The one where you have to end it because you can barely keep your eyes open.
  • The conversation where you realise you’ve spent three hours on the phone and it felt like a mere minute.
  • Or the one where you leave feeling completely connected and on the same page as someone else.

The deep and meaningful conversation – or the DMC – has slowly started to disappear from our relationships and it’s affecting us more than what we realise.

Have you ever tracked your conversations throughout the day? Do you talk at people without genuinely listening to what they may have to say? Or do you only say the bare minimum, muttering words here and there? I challenge you to try this for yourself and track your own conversations. The next time you are with friends or family, be consciously present and keep a mental note of what you are talking about and why.

You may be surprised at how much you actually listen and contribute to a conversation.

We barely scratch the surface with most conversations, and because of this, we are missing out on having real connections with the people we love the most.

Ironically, technology has also contributed to a lack of communication in our relationships. While our iPads and iPhones keep us connected to those overseas, it can also distract you from the person you are sitting with at dinner. Our phones interrupt real-life conversations with email alerts, text messages, and reminders. The one thing that is supposed to be the ultimate tool to connect us distracts us from engaging in face-to-face conversation. Losing many heart felt ‘moments’.

Are our lack of conversations stemming from the urge to look like we are interesting rather than being interested in what someone has to say, often finding ourselves comparing ourselves to social media or our friends and family who appear to “have it all”.

I get a sense we have lost our confidence to communicate and our willingness to share the real emotions we are experiencing or are we just to tired filling our days up more and more, screen fried to which in turn has us lacking the ‘want to’ even have a conversation. Where once a few years ago only too happy to meet out for a good conversation and a glass of Chardy!

So, how do we bring back the DMC?

Most conversations will never reach the DMC stage unless someone intentionally directs them there. We need to nurture ourselves and nurture our conversations if we want to achieve a deeper level of connection.

We need to listen. We need to respect and build trust in our relationships.

Now, the most important parts of a conversation are having someone to actually talk to.
Sometimes the people we have surrounded ourselves with are terrible with conversation. One might be a Terri Take Over, and the other friend a Negative Nancy. We avoid opening up because we know the discussion will leave you feeling worse than how you felt before you started talking.

You can change this.

Surround yourself with people who will help stimulate a conversation – not suffocate it. Create your circle with people who make you feel comfortable enough to talk about your emotions and build a genuine connection. If they don’t, then it is time to grow a new circle.

Or perhaps it’s not the people around you, but something you are struggling with within yourself.

There are times where we feel as though we will be judged for what we will say. We’re scared of the political correctness, and we avoid the confrontation. Opening up means we put ourselves in a place of vulnerability that can be uncomfortable and awkward for some.

Why do you think you maybe avoiding a DMC?

Now, I can hear some of you saying that there is simply not enough time in the day for deep and meaningful conversations. With managing the business side of things, plus the kids, plus the bills, plus the cleaning, plus everything else, you don’t really have the time to stop and engage in a lengthy conversation with someone.

But is this truly living?

Or are you going through the motions with every day feeling like groundhog day? You know the age-old saying, are you ‘working to live or living to work’?

At the end of the day, having deep and meaningful conversations with others can actually be one of the greatest investments you could make for your emotional wellbeing. Looking after your emotional wellbeing has a flow on effect to your finances. Feeling connected, in control and listened to will help you make better decisions in your life.

Isn’t that worth investing in?

If you are seeking deep and meaningful conversations but they are just not happening for one reason or another, you are welcome to book in for a FREE Discovery Call.

Together, we can identify what links are missing. Start re-creating and nurturing your relationships, build on bringing back those real conversations with people that matter most.

Simply click here if this is something you look forward to creating going into 2019.

Schedule your FREE 30 Minute Discovery Call Today!


Kylie-Ann Kobelt

Kylie-Ann Kobelt

Personal Life Coach, Business Coach & Change Mentor


Hi, I’m Kylie-Ann, it is not the things that happen outside yourself that affect you the most. What goes on inside your head is the most powerful indicator of your success as a person. So, if your thinking becomes clearer and more empowered, so does your life.

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