Do you feel as though your conversations are on autopilot?
Have your responses become automatic, almost as though you aren’t truly listening to the other person?
Are your conversations with your spouse limited to, “Yes, I will pick up the milk” or “Sure, I’ll pay the electricity bill”?
Sometimes we hit a point in our life where our conversations become stagnant and repetitive. We start to feel as though we aren’t making any headway with our words. Our conversations feel meaningless when it seems as though no one is listening to us. Even communicating with your employees can be a struggle. Do your morning meetings feels like groundhog day? Are you repeating yourself over and over, only to feel like your banging your head against a brick wall? Here are some ways you can confidently communicate for results.
1) Listen to understand, not listen to reply.
When we are on autopilot, we stop trying to understand what the other person is trying to say. Instead, we listen to the words and give the appropriate reply. It’s easy to verbalise autopilot responses, but not so easy to stop and reevaluate how the other person may be feeling. We often get caught up in whatever we are doing that we forget that an effective conversation requires two people to communicate and understand each other. Not doing this can be damaging to your personal and business relationships.
2) Notice and learn how other people communicate.
It may surprise some people to hear that not everyone communicates in the same way. In fact, the way we say things can completely change how someone may interpret your words. And it is different for every individual. The most effective conversations are made by those who take the time to learn how the people around them communicate. It can be a powerful tool to be aware of how someone responds to your words and what results you can achieve. Some people may not even be consciously aware of how you are talking to them; they just know you understand them or you are taking the time to listen to them.
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3) Embody successful people and mimic their conversation style.
Who would you like to be like? Think of someone who is already successful in your eyes, someone you admire. It could even be a fictional character! How do they hold themselves, how do they walk, speak or present themselves? Watch how they talk to other people or how they communicate with their peers or loved ones. Then, practice bringing them into your own style. Embody their little physiologies and language choices. Being like someone you like builds stronger rapport and you may actually notice these new upgrades bring you different results.
4) Be interested not interesting.
Fire the take-over Terry in you! Because sometimes it’s just not all about you!
We have two ears and a mouth for a reason! It would really make a difference if we all considered listening more than speaking. I know you have loads of information you would like to share but find out what is relevant. Ask questions to learn more about the other person / people in the conversation and know it’s ok to say “I don’t know about that, tell me more”. This actually builds trust and certainly may have the other person feel more comfortable in your presence.
Oh, and give the other person ago! (which leads into the next point)
5) Be Brief (like a mini skirt)
As a fabulous saying goes that I only heard a few weeks ago.
“Short enough to be interesting, long enough to cover the subject”.
Do you find yourself limited with how you communicate? Are you not getting the results you are after when you do meet with a client? Do you find that a friend is always taking over the conversation and you are unsure how to manage that?
Would you like to learn more on how to redesign your communication skills to create achievable outcomes?
Please follow this link and we can discuss what areas are requiring improvement and map out how to add the new resources I can give you to get that upgrade.
Personal Life Coach, Business Coach & Change Mentor
Hi, I’m Kylie-Ann, it is not the things that happen outside yourself that affect you the most. What goes on inside your head is the most powerful indicator of your success as a person. So, if your thinking becomes clearer and more empowered, so does your life.
Now is a Good Time for Change!
Book a 90 Minute Pathfinder Session today… and set your feet on the pathway to your goals and find the solution to your biggest problem/s.