Sure, just like that!
Sadness, disappointment and anger are not a balloon held merely by your fingertips.
Excess baggage, memories and regrets.
We all have them. They are the things from our past which we have trouble letting go of.
Maybe it would be nice, even easier if they were a balloon.
There’s a difference between forgetting about it and letting it go. Whatever has happened to us in our history of life is ingrained into our minds, so of course, forgetting about it and letting it go is easier said than done.
We can, however, learn to let it go because being able to do so makes for a much quieter and happier life for all of us.
Letting things go involves being able to do two things:
Being able to forgive and be able to replace.
Let’s deal with the easy one first, forgiving.
We all have issues from our pasts which range from things that happened a few hours ago, to things which occurred in some cases, decades ago. Things which happened more recently may include a child ramming a trolley into our ankles in the supermarket, someone who thinks they’re above everyone else jumping the queue in the bank or someone dinging our car door when they open their next to where we’re parked in a car park.
The more trivial issues tend to have happened recently.
Then, the more serious offenders. Those who have divorced us and taken the children away, a pilot who screwed up and crashed the plane upon which a family member or friend was travelling or the photographer who ruined the photos of our wedding day.
In order to forgive, we first need to learn to be able to put things into perspective.
Stop walking around with blinkers on. Slow down and take a look around next time you are out and about. You will see children in wheelchairs, the elderly who can hardly move any longer, homeless people, and people dressed in black who have probably just said goodbye to a loved one. If you slow down and take more notice, you do not have to physically see things, you can read about them in the news. Entire families wiped out in a serious car accident, homelessness, poverty.
And that folks, is perspective.
Now, it’s easy for us to say ‘hey, why should that worry me, I don’t come from a place where there is any famine, I am used to a certain lifestyle?’ Well, if that’s you then please stop reading because there is zero compassion in your heart!
However, if you do feel empathy for those who are less fortunate than ourselves, you will be able to put your own problems – which are often a lot smaller than they may appear – into perspective.
Have a think about those who have less than you next time you find yourself silently moaning about having to queue for ten minutes at the checkout. Let it go!
You also need to remember that everyone is human including you and that means that everyone makes mistakes from time to time, including you. Give people a break and let it go!
Now for the more complicated aspect of letting it go, replacement.
When we lose something the best way for us to deal with the loss and to move on is to replace it.
It’s probably fair to say that every adult has been through a painful breakup. For weeks, months, in some cases years, we will mope around not knowing how we will get over it. Every angle of our lives seems to throw back painful memories. We constantly see people who remind us of the person who dumped us in the street, on the TV and there is just no getting away from it.
That is until we meet someone else!
It doesn’t matter what it is or how old we get, but whenever we experience something new we enjoy a sense of excitement. Be honest, how many of you reading this have forgotten about your ex just a few minutes after meeting someone new?
A child will cry if your Labrador puppy eats his bag of biscuits but if you give the child a new bag he’ll be happier than ever.
That is what replacement is and that is how it can help you to let things go.
Another thing to consider! Is it really worth it to keep harping on about what’s already happened, especially those trivial things such as being stuck in a queue?
Is it really worth it to be huffing and puffing behind someone in a check-in queue at the airport because they didn’t have their documents ready?
What’s better? Raise your blood pressure or just stay calm. Are you in control of their organizational skills? But, can you be in control of ‘how you react to the situation?
So, get clear on how you want it. Get conscious of your behaviour and take positive action and let it go!
I have so far talked mostly about emotional things with which we have trouble letting go of, but there are of course physical things too. These can range from your first mobile phone which hasn’t worked for the last five years to those who believe that it is fine to have their deceased wife or husband’s ashes on the bedroom table even when they enter into a new relationship.
The more serious offenders are called hoarders they simply cannot throw anything away and it can in some cases be a serious problem.
So, before that happens to have a good clear out of both your mind as well as your drawers and cupboards.
Stop! Have a good look around at yourself. Increase your personal power by being conscious of the evaluations you make, discriminate what you are in control of, be at the cause of creating new habits.
You will find yourself letting go of things more easily!
Now, if you find you have deep-rooted resentment, frustration, anger, sadness even guilt that is heavy and is starting to define who you are, and your behaviour is controlled by it, this requires a different approach.
Limiting emotions like these need to be worked with on an unconscious level and this article is about letting it go consciously.
So, to understand more about unconscious limiting beliefs and emotions and how they are identified I invite you to
CLICK HERE And let it go!
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Personal Life Coach, Business Coach & Change Mentor
Hi, I’m Kylie-Ann, it is not the things that happen outside yourself that affect you the most. What goes on inside your head is the most powerful indicator of your success as a person. So, if your thinking becomes clearer and more empowered, so does your life.
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