inner critic
How to Recognise Your Inner Critic
May 30, 2021
Kylie-Ann Kobelt

At some stage of our lives, our inner critic has made an unannounced and uninvited entrance. You know the one, the familiar nagging thoughts that diminish the way we feel about ourselves or our abilities.

For some, their inner critic is waiting for them in front of the mirror, telling them they’re unattractive, or overweight. For others, their inner critic is sitting at their desk at work, waiting to tell them to crumble under the pressure. It’s even there to imply our loved ones don’t care or love us as much as we think.

For many, the inner critic is formed from earlier life experiences that gave us these opinions. As adults, they’re woven into our unconscious mind, adopted and integrated into our day-to-day behaviours, thoughts and actions.

Our inner critic can be difficult to separate from reality. When we fail to separate the two, it can significantly impact our behaviour and the success of our businesses, relationships, self-esteem and self-confidence.

It’s time to challenge our inner critic and show it the door. It is no longer welcome in our lives!

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Here are some of the most common ways to recognise your inner critic.

Do one or more of these sound like yours?

Is there a voice in your head that says things that you would never, ever say to another person? This is your inner critic.

Are you overwhelmed with the same, consistent negative thoughts that sound like a broken record? Your inner critic delivers unconstructive and negative thoughts over and over again and can feel out of control.

Do you know, deep down, that the thoughts going through your mind are irrational, untrue or totally exaggerated? Despite this, you cannot shake it and they will not leave you alone. That’s your inner critic.

Do you have an outer critic such as a parent or boss? These are the critics that are not in your head but in the flesh. Often, your inner critic will use these messages as inspiration to heighten their sabotaging thoughts and echoes their criticism over and over again.

On the topic of sabotage, your inner critic shares advice about what is in your ‘best interest’ and limits our opportunities, experiences, promotions and achievements. It likes to tell us what is realistic or achievable for us when in reality, we are capable of so much more.

Finally, the inner critic is a hypocrite. After putting their thoughts in your head, it criticises you for even having them! It punishes you for having an inner critic in the first place with thoughts like “get a grip” and “stop being so insecure”. Talk about contradiction.

When we can effectively identify where, when and how our inner critic operates, we become crystal clear on how it sounds and when to anticipate it speaking up. It is then up to us to seek the resources we need to take action against our inner critic and move forward with a more rational, confidence and peaceful way of life.

Remember, your inner critic will hate that you’re overcoming it and will amplify its messages.

It’ll tell you to not bother, to get on with life or not risk the chance.

By recognising and acting against this disparaging thought process, you are only equipping yourself with the strategies to grow stronger, whilst your inner critic weakens with nothing to feed off. 

As a Master NLP Practitioner – Life Coach I have learnt how we can rewire our communication with our inner critic and have it for you not against you and I teach these skills forward with my clients.

If you feel that your inner critic gets the better of you most days

I invite you to discover how you can change that.

So, be in touch and let’s talk about how we can create a supportive change.

Kylie-Ann Kobelt

Kylie-Ann Kobelt

Personal Life Coach, Business Coach & Change Mentor


Hi, I’m Kylie-Ann, it is not the things that happen outside yourself that affect you the most. What goes on inside your head is the most powerful indicator of your success as a person. So, if your thinking becomes clearer and more empowered, so does your life.

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