Do you self-sabotage?
You know what you want to do, what you are aiming for, and you know what you hope the outcome will be. What’s worse than someone standing in your way and stopping you from achieving those goals? Well, actually, what’s worse is you standing in your own way!
We hold ourselves up and stand by watching others enjoy the success which we crave for, for many reasons.
Some of us seek perfection before we call ourselves to action.
Imagine you take flying lessons for your private pilot’s license. One of the things which you must master before your final test is how to recover from a stall. A plane stalls when there is insufficient air travelling over the wings causing a loss of lift. However, one wing will, 99% of the time in 99% of all plane types ever built, stall before the other. This is because the wings are not absolutely perfect. One may be a few millimeters longer than the other, or wider, it doesn’t matter.
If you are the type who constantly seeks perfection, think of yourself as the aeroplane designer. However, much effort you put into something, there are always going to be variables which you had not foreseen which will ultimately alter your plans.
But, you see, it doesn’t actually matter! Making mistakes is not important; what is important is how we overcome them.
There are others who are natural procrastinators. They will over-think things until they are blue in the face. You could have come up with the best invention this century, and because you think about it too much, someone else will beat you to it, release it on to the market and become a billionaire while you still sit at your desk thinking about it.
Another idiosyncrasy of people standing in their own way is where they over analyse everything. They’re kind of similar to the procrastinator. However, the procrastinator will over-think things before they happen, whereas the person doing all the analysing will continue to spend far too much time on problems which have already happened, and have already been solved.
So, this begs the question: why do people often stand in their own way and stop their own progress?
For many, it’s a fear of change. Meet Bill and Doris. They’ve been married for thirty years. Bill is a plumber and Doris looks after the home. Every Friday evening they walk through the pub door at precisely 8 pm and stay for three hours. Bill will have four pints of the best beer on tap, and Doris will have three glasses of wine. On Saturday, they eat steak; Sunday roast beef and on Monday, they’ll make a curry with the leftover beef from the day before. They have been doing this for decades and there is more chance of finding a good joke inside a Christmas cracker than there is of ever changing their routine.
People are afraid of change.
How many times do we read about a middle-aged couple winning millions on the lottery? Out they go in front of the cameras and they’re asked how their win will change their lives.
‘Oh, we need a new car but we will still keep working in the same factory where we both met twenty-five years ago’. This couple will still go to the same place on their annual holiday, and, if it was Bill and Doris who’d won the jackpot, they would still drink in the same pub every Friday evening.
That is the main reason people stand in their own way – fear of change.
There is, however, one more extenuating reason – fear of failure. Whenever we try something new, we’re petrified of failing and scared to death of looking stupid in front of our peers.
Doesn’t it make you wonder therefore why these people play the lottery if they don’t intend to allow it to better and improve their lives?
It would seem that on the face of things, people want a better life but when the time comes, they get cold feet, and that’s a shame, a great shame.
So, how do we stop standing in our own way while we are seeking the path to success either through work, applying a skill, or even luck?
The biggest thing we can focus on is to be much more self-confident, to learn to believe in ourselves and our abilities. Imagine if Sir Elton John, back in the late 1960s, had put off his first gig because he wasn’t sure if he would sound okay that night?
Every single world-renowned concert pianist in the world makes at least one mistake during every performance, but that doesn’t stop them from getting up there and doing their business.
So, let’s have a little call to action to wrap things up, a little challenge if you like.
Make a promise to yourself right now that this week, you are going to action something that you’ve never attempted before. You can choose anything, but for our purposes, let’s say you’re going to cook a new recipe. Don’t just cook it for yourself, invite some friends over!
Go out and buy all the ingredients that you’ll need. Get the recipe printed off and hang it up in the kitchen. Get all the spices, herbs, meat and vegetables prepared, your utensils at arm’s length and your oven pre-heated to the required temperature.
Make sure you understand all of the terms, for example, look up the difference between searing and frying if that’s what the recipe calls for.
Get your friends over, and do not have a takeaway from the local Chinese in the fridge just in case things go wrong!
Prepare, cook, serve, have a great evening, and you will see that if you get over that self-doubt and fear of failure, everything will work out.
Stop stressing out, you will be fine, and if you keep taking these little baby steps, you’ll grow more and more confident and be able to move forward with bigger and better tasks in the future!
‘Start as a kitchen hand and end up a chief’
Are you ready to cook up a storm, change your direction or get out of your own way?
Then CLICK HERE for your Free Discovery Call and let go of what limits you, grab hold of the HOW TO take the steps needed to stop self sabotage…because you are worth it…aren’t you?
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Personal Life Coach, Business Coach & Change Mentor
Hi, I’m Kylie-Ann, it is not the things that happen outside yourself that affect you the most. What goes on inside your head is the most powerful indicator of your success as a person. So, if your thinking becomes clearer and more empowered, so does your life.
Now is a Good Time for Change!
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