Change Your Communication = Changing their Behaviour!
August 2, 2019
Kylie-Ann Kobelt

Do you ever think about what influences your child’s behaviour or beliefs?

As a parent, we can quickly identify the “bad influences” in our child’s life. Different people, attitudes and substances can affect our child’s “normal” behaviour. Many parents are quick to notice if their child is hanging around different friends or if they are picking up certain words or attitudes from TV shows.

But what about the influence WE have on our children?

Our experiences and values help shape our own children’s belief system from a very young age. Through our interactions with the world, our children learn what is good and bad, right and wrong, who they are and who they want to be. Even the way we react to different situations models behaviour that our children start to mimic.

For example-

How do you react when you are driving, and someone cuts you off?

Do you believe your child should fit in with the popular crowd or stand alone as an individual?

If your partner or family belittles you, do you let it go or do you defend yourself?

There is no right or wrong way, but we do need to be aware of how our own behaviours can influence our kids.

Do you educate and influence your child based on your experiences or values?

You can understand how you influence your children when you reflect on your past and the values which were passed on to you. Did you have kind, respectful parents? Were your parents loving and understanding of each other, even during the tough times? These behaviours and beliefs will spill down onto your own children.

Unfortunately, the negative habits and baggage are the ones we need to watch out for.

If your parents always yelled or put each other down, you may find yourself doing the same with your partner. If your parents gave you the silent treatment as punishment, you might find yourself doing the same with your children. These types of influences are hardwired into our brain and our attachment style. The good news is that you can change them if you are aware they exist.

So, how do you change behaviours which have been a part of our identity for as long as you can remember?

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Get conscious!

Be present and not distracted and once you have identified them, take the time to reflect and re-evaluate. Visiting a relationship coach in Melbourne can also be beneficial.

Every time you find yourself in a position where these behaviours might be triggered, take a moment before reacting. If you are conscious of your behaviour you can do something about it and will be a positive influence rather than repeat your own negative history.

Secondly, understand that every child is going to have their own personality and things they are good at. Rather than expecting them to fit into a mould. Practice nurturing and respecting their unique gifts in order to help build their self-esteem and confidence.

Not only will they be influenced by your caring and understanding nature, but they will also feel supported and loved when making big decisions in their life.

The habits and beliefs we influence our children with are the building blocks for their inner voice as an adult.

Build them up with confidence and respect will lead their life with positivity and strength.

How do you influence your children versus How you would like to influence them?

Are you just not sure where to start?

Often simply learning new communication styles and applying the thinking (Neuro Linguistics) behind the styles can have you create a new door for positive and connecting conversations with your child no matter what age.

Are you Interested in understanding more about ‘what and how’ to communicate to create positive change with your child/ren?

I look forward to hearing from you soon – simply click here to connect.

Kylie-Ann Kobelt

Kylie-Ann Kobelt

Personal Life Coach, Business Coach & Change Mentor


Hi, I’m Kylie-Ann, it is not the things that happen outside yourself that affect you the most. What goes on inside your head is the most powerful indicator of your success as a person. So, if your thinking becomes clearer and more empowered, so does your life.

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